It Is What It Is. Or Is It?

It is what it is.

For fucks sake, that phrase drives me crazy!

Not because there aren't real barriers or challenges at times. The bigger & more complex the issue, it can feel like a complete uphill battle to create change.

However, that phrase often speaks to the privilege of being apathetic or giving away one’s personal power.

And when giving away your personal power, you'll live in mediocrity at best. Otherwise, you may be dealing with resentment, frustration, lack of opportunity, etc, etc.

"My boss is a jerk, it is what is." = I have to accept their behavior to keep my job.

"My mom always gives my kids candy, even though I've asked her not to. Ugh, it is what it is." = I am lacking boundaries.

"My teenager talks with such attitude! It is what is though." = I am ok accepting my daughter's disrespectful behavior.

"People like me don't get jobs like that. It is what it is". = I am not good enough for the career I actually want.

Saying it to yourself diminishes your ability to create change, whether consciously or subconsciously. And saying it to others lacks empathy.

What if instead of using that phrase or something similar, you replaced it with "Why not me?" or "I am not sure how to change this, but I'll figure it out." or "Of course, there is more available for me?" or "I deserve better than this treatment".

Or it can just be what it is. Your choice.